A Team Effort: Parenthood in the Penguins Family

Pictured above: Kelsey Rust with son Hunter and daughter Scottie (left); Kevin and Katya Hayes (right)

During the season, Kevin and Katya Hayes did the anatomy scan for their first child, who is due to arrive this month. As they were leaving the appointment, they ran into Bryan and Kelsey Rust, who also had the same ultrasound scheduled for their third child: daughter Scottie, born on April 29.

“You were like, you did it?! I was like, yes! It was so sweet. We were so excited,” Katya said to Kelsey, who added, “That was a really cute moment between Kevin and Bryan. They were just like, oh my gosh, did you get to see; yeah, I got to see baby!”

“I think it's an exciting time for us as friends to see each other go through those big life moments,” Bryan said with a smile.

On that particular day, they did not run into Rickard and Emmeli Rakell, who welcomed son Ziggy on April 28. But since the three couples share the same practice – with their doctor working out of Wexford on Tuesdays – they would often cross paths. “On those mornings, it was like, who’s in first?” Kelsey laughed.

They were part of a sizable group of expecting Penguins parents, all due within a few weeks of each other, that also included Tristan and Hannah Jarry. Their first child (and the first grandchild on both sides!), son Bennett, arrived on April 21.

“We started going to different gatherings and we’re like, wait a minute, there’s another one!” Kelsey said. “When you find out you're pregnant and somebody else in the same community is too, it brings the biggest sense of comfort, because it’s such a roller coaster ride that I think comes with a lot of joy and excitement...”

“And hormones!” Emmeli interjected.

“Yes! A lot of anxiety, too,” Kelsey agreed.

Especially with their partners having such demanding schedules that require a lot of travel, and family that isn’t a mere few minutes away. No one is local to the Pittsburgh area, with their support systems all at least a few hours away by car, or, in Emmeli’s case, across the world in Sweden.

Navigating pregnancies and planning for new arrivals amidst the ups and downs of an 82-game season certainly had challenges. But getting to do it as part of a crew that included second- and third-time moms with first-time moms – celebrating with showers, sprinkles and sip-n’-sees – was something special.

“It's such an important community to have the girls and the support,” Emmeli said. “Even if some days you feel lonely, you’re truly never alone when you have a team. Which is a huge difference when you come from Europe, when you’re so far away from home, and I cannot call my mom to be here in two hours. That has been huge for us, and the support is amazing.”

Emmeli said that she always asks Rickard, what if something happens and you’re not there? “He’s like, someone will always step in,” Emmeli said. That is what happened when she was hospitalized during this pregnancy while the Penguins were out West. The team immediately made arrangements for Rickard to fly home and be with his wife and their toddler Daisy, and worked to make sure Emmeli was okay.

“Just how the organization stepped up and was there as a support, I had never really seen that before. How the second it happened, they did not even question it,” Emmeli said. “Dr. V (head team physician Dr. Dharmesh Vyas) has been an amazing support system, too. So, it's not only like having the girls, having the guys, it's also having that kind of support from your organization.”

That’s been important for Kelsey as well, as she’s experienced some scary moments, to say the least. After having a C-section with her first son Hunter, she prepared for a VBAC (vaginal birth after C-section) with her second son Logan, but ultimately had to undergo another C-section.

Something wasn’t right when Kelsey got home, as she was having severe left lower back pain. Kelsey and Bryan went in to get it checked out on a game day morning, then he went to the rink while she waited for the results. It turned out her bladder and ureter got cut during the process, and Kelsey needed surgery. Otherwise, the cut ureter could result in a ruptured kidney. Not only did Penguins doctors accompany Bryan to the hospital after his game; but Dr. Vyas also made sure Kelsey could get the procedure done as soon as possible.

As Kelsey told Kecia Sheahan in an episode of ‘Delivered: A Mini Birth Series’, “everyone here – the hockey community and friends and family all the time sending meals, dropping off things, offering to take Hunter to go play – I get so emotional even talking about it. Because I’m like, with how I was feeling and just how dark those days felt, there’s no way we could have done it without a village of people, because everybody stepped in to help.’

So, as moms who have been through a lot, Kelsey and Emmeli have done what they can to help out the first-time moms like Hannah, Katya, Masha Kolyachonok, and Bailey Glass. They both reached out right away with guidance and advice, like what to pack in the hospital bag, and that the best laid plans often go awry.

“Emmeli immediately sent me texts like, you need this, you need that. Then Kelsey did it, and I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, what if I had to do this all alone? I'm so happy I don't have to be the first one,” Hannah said. “I can just ask any question, and nothing's off limits for anyone on the team, which is really nice. Everyone's so supportive, and always checking in. It's made it a lot easier than having to go through it alone, or being the first of a friend group being pregnant. Because I'm like, I’ll just call them, and they'll know!”

They’ve also relied on the other moms in the group, like Melinda Karlsson and Kate Acciari.

“It’s like having older sisters helping you out,” Katya agreed. “It's a unique experience having the girls to be like, so, what do you do in this situation? How did you do that, whenever it was? Especially when the guys are not around and on the road. You just kind of have to use your friends.”

The schedule really is such a beast, this past year in particular. It included Pittsburgh’s longest road trip since 1997, a two-week swing that started on the East Coast and went to the West Coast. While the wives gave their husbands a lot of credit for how well they handle everything, the guys know where it’s actually due.

“I know from experience the wives, my wife especially, they do so much for us during the season because we're constantly busy and we’re constantly traveling and all this stuff. They're the ones holding down the forts, getting the kids to their scheduled appointments in school and all their other activities,” Bryan said.

“They're handling the groceries, and if something goes wrong with the house, they're calling the people to fix it if we’re on the road. I feel the list is endless, and to have that type of responsibility and handle it so well I think makes our lives easier, makes my life way easier – and I don't think I'd be able to perform at the level I do without her.”

When the players who are already dads return, they switch right into parent mode, even though they’re usually pretty exhausted. But being with their families is such a safe and happy space for them mentally.

“Having kids, and even before that, Emmeli makes my life so much easier,” Rickard said. “When we’re gone, I get to play hockey and do the things I love, but it’s always something that’s missing when you’re gone. Coming home to them, she's my best friend, and having a family with her, it’s a dream come true for me.”

Both Hannah and Katya said that seeing their husbands become fathers for the first time is at the top of their lists. “Kevin has wanted to be a dad for 10 years now,” Katya said. “Tristan is so excited, and it makes me so excited,” said Hannah, with Tristan adding, “We're going to be the first ones to have grandkids on both sides, so both of our parents are very excited about that as well.”

The Jarrys did their best to find the positives through an especially challenging year, with Tristan spending time in Wilkes-Barre/Scranton during Hannah’s first pregnancy, with their home and her doctor in Pittsburgh.

“It was definitely hard on both of us, being away, and not knowing if I was going to come back up or what was going to happen. So, we kind of took turns,” said Tristan, who said he’d drive back to Pittsburgh every day off. “Then, say we had a day off on Tuesday, and then our next day off was Friday – she'd come Tuesday, stay in Wilkes in the hotel, then I'd drive her home Friday.”

Not to mention Hannah was trying to get their nursery back home in Edmonton set up remotely. Thankfully, their neighbor – a dad himself with two older kids – went and oversaw their furniture delivery. Kelsey and Bryan returned to their offseason home in Sault Ste. Marie, Canada during the 4 Nations break to get things done there. Emmeli and Rickard need to get Ziggy’s passport and other paperwork situated before they can head back to Sweden, while Katya and Kevin planned on going back to Boston right after the season.

There’s a lot of logistics – and Amazon Prime! – involved for such a unique circumstance with a lot of moving parts. But it’s helpful that they went through it together.

“I always say this, that it's so rare that you have people that live the exact same day to day and schedule as you. Obviously not the exact same, but for the most part, very similar,” Kelsey said. “I think that is so rare. So, it's nice in that sense, because we all just lean on each other."

And now that they made it through the season and into the offseason, it’s time to enjoy quality time with their families that have or will be growing by one. Bryan’s advice for the weeks and months ahead?

“Have fun with everything,” he said. “Doesn't matter what it is. You’re grinding through, you can be getting up in the middle of night, 2, 3 AM, get peed on, all these things... you don't get upset about it, tell your wife and laugh about it. All those little things are all just kind of fun memories that you're gonna look back and laugh on.”