Colb and I started three hand squeezes (meaning I love you) very early in our relationship. He would squeeze my hand in the car, I would squeeze his in the grocery store, we would do it anywhere and everywhere. We did this for years. The four days Colb was in the hospital, I wasn't allowed to be with him. I got to FaceTime him twice for a few moments. I would beg him to wake up and tell him how much I loved him. I would then ask the nurse to squeeze his hands three times so he felt I was there. I didn't want him to die alone, so three hand squeezes through a critical care nurse was the closest way I could tell him that I loved him and always will. I wasn't physically there when Colb went to heaven, but I pray through the nurse squeezing his hand like we had always done, he felt me right there beside him.