3 years later, Dougan family still learning to cope with losing Ari

Before Laila Anderson captured the hearts of the hockey world during the 2019 Stanley Cup Playoffs, there was Arianna Dougan.
Ari, as she liked to be called, was diagnosed with neuroblastoma when she was three years old. She battled off and on for eight years, but she became a household name in April 2017 when she was the guest of Vladimir Tarasenko on a two-game road trip with the team.
About 10 months after her trip, Ari passed away. The entire organization - the players, coaches, staff and even the fans who met her - were devastated.
RELATED LINKS: Ari's Road Trip Blog | Ari's impact was beyond measure
As we celebrate Hockey Fights Cancer during the month of November, we felt it was a good time to catch up with Lori Zucker - Ari's mom - to find out how the family has been coping. What we learned is that Lori has continued to keep her daughter's memory and legacy alive in a handful of powerful ways.
Below is our entire conversation with Lori.

STLOUISBLUES.COM: It's been three years since we lost Ari. How has your family been coping and how are you managing to keep Ari's spirit alive since then?
LORI ZUCKER: Our family has definitely been grieving, and that's a struggle every day. But at the same time, we're really trying to live by Ari's words. She said, about another friend who had passed away, that her friend wouldn't want us to be sad. So we've tried very hard to work to not be sad. For me, Shawn and our boys Liam and Aidan, all of us feel that if we can give to other people then we are sharing a little of Ari's joy and kindness for her since she is not here to do this for herself. We all feel that the giant hole in our hearts gets a little smaller each time we can share some of her bright light.
BLUES: You established the Spread Ari's Light Foundation to support children and families who are going through the same challenges you did. How has the foundation been able to give back over the last several years?
ZUCKER: The foundation is doing fabulous! It's amazing to me! I shouldn't be amazed at all the support we have because of so many people that Ari touched, but we have so much support and so many people are donating and helping, it's amazing. We've been able to create a dance therapy program at St. Louis Children's Hospital and Cardinal Glennon. These programs didn't exist when Ari was in the hospital, but we saw there was a need and were able to have the hospitals create these new and much-needed positions and we are paying their salaries. It's so cool!
I firmly believe that Ari lives in my heart and in so many people's hearts. She motivates me and she moves me to do things for other people, and also to keep going when it doesn't feel like you can. Baby steps forward are better than no steps at all. I definitely think that Shawn, the boys and I feel like this gift of the foundation, which gives us the opportunity to give to other people with the help of so many others, just makes her live that much stronger within us.

BLUES: How does dance therapy help a child battling cancer in the hospital?
ZUCKER: Well, it's expression therapy, because children don't do typical "talk therapy" very well. The kids have feelings, they're battling cancer, they're dealing with so many big things and the dance / expression therapy gives them an opportunity to express themselves and have some fun, joy and laughter. When you think of dance therapy, most people think of tutus, ballerina slippers, little Ari dancing - which of course, she loved to do. But it's actually way more than that. It's an opportunity for a sick child to express themselves through movement. It should be called movement therapy, maybe. Ari loved her art and music therapists, and she would have loved this, too. It's also for the parents to see that their child can get up and move. We want to coddle them when they're sick, but they can get up and move and it's OK. They need to feel like a kid even though they're sick.

BLUES: When Ari was sick, you always told us you would take her to Philadelphia to receive a special type of radiation therapy because that was one of the only places it was offered. Is that still the case?
ZUCKER: Ari went to Children's Hospital of Philadelphia for what is called MIGB therapy. That's where we had to go, because this was one of the only treatment options available to help stop Ari's cancer from growing at that time. After being injected with the radioactive treatment, Ari had to be isolated in a lead-lined room. It doesn't hurt them and they don't glow green like people might think, but they ARE radioactive.
Now, MIGB therapy is available at St. Louis Children's Hospital in part because the St. Louis Blues made it possible! The Blues donated money to the hospital to build a MIBG Suite because they knew of Ari's story and how much she had to travel to get the treatments she needed. Now that this therapy is offered in St. Louis, it allows children battling neuroblastoma to get the treatment here. It makes things so much easier for the families, too. You have your support system and your family nearby, which makes all the difference. They built a special lead-lined room at the hospital for the patients and even a parents' suite with a nice big window where they can look in on their kids to make sure they're safe since they can't be in the room with them. It's even nicer than where Ari got treatment in Philadelphia!
BLUES: What did Ari's road trip with Vladimir Tarasenko and the Blues mean to her?
ZUCKER: It meant everything. With the trip, Ari felt so much love and support from Vladi, the team and all the Blues fans, you might even say she was famous! She thought being like Taylor Swift was so cool! I remember we were leaving a playoff game one night and Ari wasn't feeling 100 percent, so we put her up on her dad's shoulders because everybody on the concourse wanted to high-five her and she was so tired. When we finally got to the car, she said "Mommy, now I know what Taylor Swift feels like. It's tough being famous sometimes."

BLUES: When Ari was still here, her dance troop planned a Gala to honor her. When she passed, your foundation carried it on in her memory. When is the next Gala?
ZUCKER: We're holding the 11th annual Spread Ari's Light Gala at Centene Community Ice Center at the outdoor music park on April 17, 2021. We're planning a safe in-person event (fingers crossed). Everyone can come watch a fun and awesome show that will be raising money to support the local dance therapy programs in Ari's memory. With her in mind, it will feature a lot of pink and sparkly things, and also will have plenty of entertainment for everyone. We'll have more information about the Gala at
SpreadArisLight.org
soon.
BLUES: What kind of impact have the Blues had on your family through Ari's trip and the various Hockey Fights Cancer events they've planned to support you?
ZUCKER: I'll be honest, after Ari passed away, we expected our relationship with the Blues would be over. Everybody was so awesome in supporting Ari and everybody - Vladi and the staff, too - did so much for her, so what they did was plenty. It would have been enough. But instead of saying "bye, see you later, we're moving on to the next kiddo," the Blues have been a huge support to our family and have continued to invite us back for Hockey Fights Cancer initiatives, continued to sponsor the foundation and then helped create the MIBG Suite at St. Louis Children's. And Vladi texted me just the other day on the 3-year anniversary of Ari's passing. He was always so sweet in remembering her.
It means so much because it just lets us know that we remember Ari, but other people remember her, too.