Lange's colorful calls brought Penguins hockey to life

Mike Lange's voice defined generations of hockey in Pittsburgh.

The long-time play-by-play man of the Pittsburgh Penguins died Wednesday at age 76. But throughout the NHL, he and his calls live forever.

"Mike Lange was a wordsmith -- a magician behind the mic," the Penguins said in a statement. "The Californian quickly became a quintessential Pittsburgher, and his colorful calls and smooth cadence brought Penguins hockey to life."

A native of Sacramento, Lange's popularity in Pittsburgh rivaled that of Mario Lemieux and Sidney Crosby. He started in 1974, left the Penguins after one season, returned in 1976-77 and stayed until retiring in 2021. In 2001, he received the Foster Hewitt Memorial Award and was inducted into the broadcasting wing of the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Before Lemieux, Lange was the Penguins. Then, after arriving in 1984, Lemieux's best moments were narrated by Lange's famous color.

The Penguins didn't just score. They got Lange to nearly plead for someone to:

"Shave my face with a rusty razor!"

And:

"Scratch my back with a hacksaw!"

Then, just for good measure:

"Buy Sam a drink and get his dog one too!"

Maybe Lange would suggest to Pittsburgh:

"Let's go hunt moose on a Harley!"

Or:

"Call Arnold Slick from Turtle Creek," pronounced "Crick" to align with the local accent.

When Jaromir Jagr, Mark Recchi or Kevin Stevens scored, they were, "Smiling like a butcher's dog."

And the opposing goalie? Well, he didn't "know whether to cry or wind his watch," after being "beaten like a rented mule."

Crosby scored his first NHL goal at home against the Boston Bruins on Oct. 8, 2005. Chipping a loose puck in the crease past goalie Hannu Toivonen, he was met with, "Slap me silly, Sidney," a refrain from Lange that punctuated plenty of Crosby's now 609 goals.

Lange is the voice of record for five Stanley Cup championships -- 1991, 1992, 2009, 2016, 2017.

But there wasn't much to celebrate in the first two decades after the Penguins were founded in 1967. That changed May 25, 1991, when they won 8-0 in Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Final against the Minnesota North Stars.

The next year, Pittsburgh won again, a four-game sweep of the Chicago Blackhawks.

Lange wanted the Cup. And he wanted a little something to go with it:

"Oh, Lord Stanley, Lord Stanley! Bring me the brandy!"

It took a little while to get back. Crosby, now part of a storied trio with fellow center Evgeni Malkin and defenseman Kris Letang, helped the Penguins to the 2008 Stanley Cup Final, but lost to the vaunted Detroit Red Wings.

In 2009, it was a rematch. Detroit again won the first two games. Pittsburgh responded with the next two before the Red Wings took Game 5, 5-0. Down 3-2 in the best-of-7 series, the young Penguins had to rally.

They did. As the horn sounded for a 2-1 win in Game 6 at Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh, Lange shouted, "And I'll meet you in the schoolyard, baby, for all the marbles!"

The Penguins then won 2-1 in Game 7, Marc-Andre Fleury making a last-second diving save on Nicklas Lidstrom. Lange said, "Lord Stanley, scratch their names on your fabled Cup!"

At the victory parade a few days later, Lange gave a speech.

"There wasn't a chill left off the spine of this group coming up the Boulevard of the Allies, I can guarantee you," Lange said then. "The roar and the sound was overwhelming. Not quite as much as it was, though, after Game 6 of this series against Detroit, where, if you remember, I said at the end, after we won the game, I said, ‘We will see you in the schoolyard, baby, and we'll play for all the marbles on Friday night.'"

Lange then held up a sack.

"I got the marbles!"

At PPG Paints Arena, the Penguins' home since 2010, there's a media level on the seventh floor. Leaving one of the two elevators, you're greeted by a mural of Lange, dotted with some of these everlasting sayings.

It's been the Mike Lange Media Level since 2019.

To start each night game, he'd declare, "It's a Hockey Night in Pittsburgh!"

That line lives. Just before puck drop, the Penguins have it read. Sometimes it's a lucky fan. It's been United States military veterans. Other Pittsburgh athletes have joined, including a recent visit from former Pittsburgh Steelers running back Jerome Bettis.

No matter how many times it's repeated, it's Lange's call all the same.

Then, when the Penguins won, Lange would announce, "Elvis has just left the building!"

A recording of that one still echoes through the arena after home wins.

In Pittsburgh, there is no replacement. Nobody could have said what Lange said as authentically as Lange.