Nestled into a pocket above Tampa Bay Lightning forward Brandon Hagel’s locker at AMALIE Arena is a thoughtfully placed sticker.
The sticker reads “Pippy”, with the number six above the name, the number 93 stationed below.
To the average onlooker, the sticker might go unnoticed. But to Hagel, it bears a daily reminder of family, loss and a drive to help others impacted by mental health.
The sticker honors Hagel’s uncle Derek, one of three family members the Lightning forward has lost to suicide since 2017. With Tampa Bay preparing to host its annual Hockey Talks game on Jan. 28 against the Chicago Blackhawks, Hagel’s passion for raising awareness on mental health remains central.
“I think there’s a lot of ways to look at it, and for myself, you can only grieve for so long and there’s ways around it. For myself, I mean it’s emotional, but you try to turn the negative into a positive,” he said of his connection to the annual Hockey Talks game.
The NHL’s Hockey Talks initiative aims to raise awareness about mental health and eliminate some of the stigma surrounding mental health concerns. Each team honors those affected by mental health while recognizing mental health professionals in the process.
Tampa Bay’s Hockey Talks game is about helping others, something Hagel echoes.
“What they’re doing out there, whether it’s helping one person or 1,000 people or 2,000, you name it, that’s all I’m out here to do is that they’re able to put that out there and talk about it because it’s a huge thing in our lives that maybe if something hasn’t happened to you, you don’t really understand maybe. I try to be a word and other people try to be a word, just so you don’t have to get to the state my family has to go through and myself.”
He lost his uncle, Danny Hagel, to suicide in 2017 before losing his uncle, Derek Hagel, to the same battle in 2018.
The Lightning forward then lost another family member to suicide this summer in uncle/cousin Braten Kirkwood.
“It’s one of those things that hits close to home. That was family, but they were like best friends to me,” Hagel said. “Now being able to accomplish my dreams and do the stuff here, they’re not able to watch it. And that kills me.”
Aside from the sticker in his locker, Hagel has other tributes to his three best friends. The family competes in a ball hockey tournament in memoriam of ‘Pippy’ each summer to bring them all together in his honor.
Hagel has an arm tattoo that depicts an eye and lists Danny and Derek’s birthdays, a reminder to the Lightning forward that they are always watching.
His uncle Danny had a wolf tattoo on his shoulder, so Hagel added a wolf tattoo to his own personal canvas in honor of his uncle.
"I just kind of read them as they're always watching, and the wolf was a huge thing for one of my uncles. It's one of those things that, just try every little thing. I mean, it'll never be easy.”
Hagel is not currently regularly involved with nonprofits related to suicide or mental health but has repeatedly talked on the issues in his time with the Lightning.
He is considering ways to find an organization or cause that will celebrate his lost family members while also having a positive impact for others. He said he’s still waiting for the right time to start that push.
In the meantime, he hopes to keep spreading awareness on mental health and the impact.
“I don’t know who it’s getting out to or who’s seeing it, but for myself all it is, I’m trying to help at least one person. Whether my word gets across or not, I’m just going to continue to speak about it and be open about it, and I think that helps myself in ways. But I'm also trying to just spread the word because it's scary. It’s not an easy thing. I went through it. My one uncle saw what it did to the family, and it still happened. Then a third uncle/cousin saw what losing two uncles did to the family, and it still happened,” Hagel said.
“For myself it’s sometimes hard to process and sometimes maybe my word doesn’t help at times, but I think this past one’s really affected me a little bit in ways. … But at the same time, I’m still gonna be here and try and put my word out as much as I can and tell my story, just to maybe help one person.”
One in five adults in the U.S. live with a mental illness, according to a 2022 report from the National Institute of Mental Health, the leading federal agency on mental health research.
Help is available, and Hagel hopes those fighting mental health issues will seek that assistance.
“Talk to someone. Everyone’s there for you. You’ve got to remember that family is family for a reason, and whether you don’t want to talk, just find someone that you can trust. No one’s judging you. You don’t want to go down the path that I had to experience myself, my family, and also my uncles,” he said.
“Just always reach out. Whether it gives you an extra day, months, years, maybe just that one talk really helps. We’re human. We’re all human. We have problems, we have issues. Don’t be the alpha, just reach out for help. People are here for you, and people want to help you. Some people may not understand it, but there’s people that do understand it. From my experience, I don’t wish this upon anyone, so just reach out for help.”
