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Random Hockeyness

by Daryl "Razor" Reaugh / Dallas Stars

- Is it me or are linesmen about as dictatorial as they've ever been when presiding over the simple task of dropping a puck on a red dot to signal start of play? Not all, but many of them are defeating the purpose of the hurry up line change by turning draw after draw into a two or three-way Seinfeld 'Soup Nazi' rerun.

- Tom Wandell's goal vs Tampa was one of the few goals scored off a skate in recent memory that was a great example of 'directing' the puck in off the skate. To me it's time to alter the language in the rule from 'distinct kicking motion' to 'skate was off the ice'

- Speaking of Tom, I will continue to call him 'Vahn-dehl' because a) That's how he and Nik Grossman told me his last name is pronounced when I asked them last season. And b) That is how it is listed phonetically in the Stars game notes.

- My new life motto is: Go where I'm invited, Do what I am told

- The Stars just went 0-3 against the three right-hand catching goalies they faced in the past six games (Deslauriers, Garon, and Harding), scoring just 5 goals vs them in the process. Good thing those "silly-siders" are in the minority.

- Mike Heika works hard

- Do 'hard rim' and 'soft dump' make you giggle when you hear them on the broadcast?

- Brenden Morrow and Stephane Robidas give 100% effort...always, but do the two banged-up veteran warriors have 100% of themselves to give right now?

- Soooo.....I guess it's pretty evident the Stars only need two names on this year's ballot for Team MVP

- Why is divorce so expensive? Cause it's worth it - at least that's how the saying goes (Kobe might argue that) Why do teams fire coaches? Cause it works...most of the time.

- Due to injuries the St Louis Blues played over 100 straight games with their 'available' roster under the salary cap floor.

- Hey current NHLers, when your team is down big late in a game and you score one of those super-irrelevant goals, don't go fist-bump your mates at the bench. Go to center ice and wait for the puck to get retrieved, transported and dropped by the guys in stripes.

- The LA Kings now boast the two worst dressed coaches in NHL history - Robbie 'The Mr. Rodgers Sweater' Ftorek and Darryl 'Dark Closet Time Warp' Sutter

- Kirk Muller is slowly and quietly doing fine work in Carolina.

- I don't think any of the NHL's 30 teams broadcast their games in Spanish so that leaves just 3 languages that games ARE available in in North America: English, French and Punjabi. Wait, what? It's true.

- Quick. Guess who scored the last Stars hat trick...and when. Wrong. It was Steve Ott, 134 games ago

- Does anybody else think Glen Gulutzan stockpiles time-outs like an Apocalyptican does bottled water and canned goods?

- The phrase "peeing on trees" has its origin in the animal world where mammals often do just that to stake their territory. If I was still playing, and found myself in a Shootout, I'd take the water bottle off the net prior to the first shooter being announced. Then, holding it waste-high, I'd squirt a little on each post and the crossbar - "to stake my territory."

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