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Week 1 Offseason Tips

by Jesse D. Eisenberg / New York Islanders

Just a few ideas for the team as the first week of the off-season sets in…

1. Re-introduce yourself to your girlfriend/wife and kids… Before hand, do your best to remember their names, hobbies and interests.

2. Nix the afternoon nap: in the season it’s efficient, in the summer it’s just lazy.

3. Track your calories: I’m pretty sure you won’t be burning 80,000 a day anymore.

4. Stock up on produce with confidence that it won’t spoil while you’re on the road.

5. Stop lying about your injuries (“Limp? What limp?”).

6. Work on your famous “insert-adult-beverage-here” recipe.

7. Catch up on TIVO.

8. Help your favorite PR guy write the post-season media guide.
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