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From the Rafters (12.17.14)

by Wyatt Arndt / Vancouver Canucks
The Canucks took on the Stars as Jamie Benn and Tyler Seguin, wearing some of the nicest jerseys in the league, tried to steal a couple of points from Vancouver. Read on to find out about the best flag dancer you’ll ever see, Santa Clause, and a new super powered Sedin jersey.

- Cashman never played a game in the NHL. Pavel Bure scored a couple of goals here and there. Tough to say who won that draft.

- Pizza and hockey might be one of the best combinations of all time. Watching hockey and eating pizza mind you. Not eating pizza then playing hockey. That’s a one way ticket to barfsville in the first period intermission.

- Well let’s not rush to any conclusions here...

FIRST PERIOD

- This is a bold statement good sir. We will check back in with you in 19 minutes. If they haven’t scored you owe everyone $20 and a foot massage. Or a neck massage if you’re one of those people freaked out by feet.

- Tonight’s dancer of the night has to go to this young lady for busting out the “shake your arms” maneuver last seen on Friends, when Monica had a turkey on her head.

Remember, though, if you ever need help coming up with a dance move, remember how The Clapper won everyone over: tearaway track pants. If you aren’t tearing off your pants, you aren’t dancing hard enough.

- Sadly there is no Zubov, Hatcher, or Mark Tinordi patrolling the Dallas defense anymore. Let’s also take a moment to remember the glory that was Craig Ludwig’s shin pads. They were basically two lawn chairs taped to his legs.

- You know your team was stoned by a hot goalie when people start forcing in bad puns for Lehtonen’s name. For the record, bad puns on names are awesome (Luca Knee-sa is all queued up if he ever knees somebody).

- OK, @StupidePuck owes everyone $20.

SECOND PERIOD

- There was always a sneaking suspicion that former Canuck Mike Santorelli was in fact Santa Clause. Mike Santarelli more like it. (See, bad name puns are gold, Jerry, gold!) . Alas, Santarelli was not in a giving mood to Vancouver, as Dallas took a 1-0 lead despite Vancouver out chancing the Stars early on.

- OK, mathematically this is a correct jersey, you have to give her that. Also, sometimes it’s hard to pick a favorite Sedin, so this jersey takes care of that problem.

- Ah, mom texts about hockey. Always so positive and supportive. And slightly confusing.

- Again, resorting to begging the Hockey Gods is never a bad move when your team can’t buy a goal. Sometimes they take pity, right?

- Or you can always resort to pleading with physics. Why can’t the earth spinning work in Vancouver’s favor for once?? Matt @StupidePuck is to blame for all of this! He got cocky! He cost us all!

- Sometimes the picture doesn’t tell the whole story. If this was TMZ, this would be a solid argument for an offside. Alas, the puck was put back in the zone by a Dallas Stars player and Burrows smartly waited for the puck to cross the blue line before picking it up. So to sum up, yes, in Canada (and the world) that is not offside.

As for the Burrows breakaway that followed, there’s no need to dive into that right now. *shakes fist at Matt @StupidePuck*

THIRD PERIOD

- A hockey stick was ridden across the ice in celebration of this tweet.

- OK, new winner for dancer of the night. This guy dances so well the guy beside him can’t help but jump up and partake in the dancing. The guy might not have even wanted to dance, but the power of flag man was so strong his body began moving against his will.

- Eddie came up huge on a breakaway late in the game, which caused the arena to break out in deafening “Eddie, Eddie, Eddie” chants. Everybody loves Eddie, there is simply no way around it. He could reveal he was actually the guy who directed the Transformer movies and people in Vancouver would come to terms with it.

- Alas it was not meant to be, as Lehtonen summoned his inner hybrid Patrick Roy/Dom Hasek monster and stopped every single Canucks shot sent his way for the shutout. For good measure he probably spoiled the results of Survivor to the people in the front row as well.

- Only Dawson can understand the pain of a five game losing streak.

- OK, the Oilers probably understand that feeling as well, fair point.

POST GAME

- And in case you missed it, the Vancouver Canucks hosted their annual Minor Hockey Weekend early in December, and they posted the top ten highlights of the weekend. For fans of the intermission hockey goal of the night, it is worth the watch!

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