Sign in with your NHL account:
  • Submit
  • Or
  • Sign in with Google
 
SHARE

Some helpful suggestions for the new president

Tuesday, 11.04.2008 / 10:18 AM / Columns

By Paul Kukla - NHL.com Correspondent

Sometime Tuesday night, a new administration will be chosen to lead the United States. Perhaps the new president needs some advice for cabinet positions that need to be filled.

So, here are my suggestions:

The Secretary of Defense -- Nick Lidstrom is still the favorite, but a group of fast approaching youngsters are catching up to him.

Minister of Foreign Affairs -- I want an imposing figure, but also someone that can use his worldly knowledge to get the job done, therefore my choice is Zdeno Chara.

 
 
United Nations Ambassador -- Simple choice, Alexander Ovechkin.

Press Secretary -- E.J. Hradek, co-host of NHL Live.  E.J. has the experience and can "sit on the fence" when needed.

Supreme Court Candidates -- Brendan Shanahan and Bill Guerin.  Both men have the needed experience and professionalism to do the job.

Internal Affairs Administrator -- The person needed to fill this position has to be able to have his ear to the ground, yet, must keep everything to himself.  My recommendation is Bill Daly.

Director of Social Security -- Chris Chelios.

Historic Committee -- Red Fisher, Stan Fischler and Bob Cole.

Now for some new positions.

Marketing Team --The PR Department from the Washington Capitals. Every morning they plan to send out an email alert to every U.S. citizen, giving us a daily briefing.

Minister of Sport -- Wayne Gretzky. When Wayne speaks, people listen and respond. A much-needed position and one Wayne will accept if asked.

Gossip Control Manager -- Many bloggers are up for this job along with a few main stream media types, most of whom reside in Canada.

The "Wow" Factor Group -- When the economy is tough, citizens need an outlet to forget about their daily troubles.  I present, Pavel Datsyuk, Roberto Luongo, Sidney Crosby and Rick Jenerette. These men will help you through the day, just sit back and enjoy their talent.

The new country motto -- "If all else fails, find some ice, put on the blades, and just skate.  Your mind will become clear, your physical fitness level will improve and your outlook on life will never be better."


DEADLINE DAY DEALS
Player/s Team Team Player/s
Stewart
MORE
2017 pick
Wisniewski,
2015 pick

MORE
Bourque,
Karlsson,
2015 pick
Zidlicky
MORE
Cond. picks
Petry
MORE
2015 picks
View all trades
Quote of the Day

I don't have a crystal ball. Predicting is a real complicated thing. If we stay healthy, have enough depth and get the good goaltending we think we're going to have, you can go all the way. But a lot of things have to happen. There's going to be a lot of teams that think the same thing. Everyone made deals. We're all are optimistic about where we'll end up.

— Rangers general manager Glen Sather after being asked if he's constructed a team that can win the Stanley Cup before their 4-1 win against the Predators on Monday
2015 Coors Light NHL Stadium Series GigaPixel