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Wild Mo Bros Power Rankings — Week 1

by Mike Doyle / Minnesota Wild

Well, it’s Movember again and the Wild Mo Bros are back at it, growing their soup strainers for men’s health. Check out the Wild's Movember page, presented by Jack Link's Beef Jerky, to join the team. Since the players are doing their part, is doing its part and trying to determine the best Wild moustache. Last season, the Mo Bros Power Rankings went over the upper lip so well, we’ve decided to do it again this season. The 2012-13 winner,
Justin Fontaine, is back at trying to defend the title and will captain the Wild Mo Bros this year. Without further ado, here are the Week 1 Wild Mo Bros Power Rankings.

Don Draper Morning-After Division

For the mad men who are opting for the all-nighter, 5 o’clock shadow look fit for the offices of SC&P.

Nate Prosser — The blueliner looks like he went toe-to-toe with Roger Sterling and isn’t worse for the wear. We don’t expect Prosser keep the complete no shave going and think he’ll eventually groom his upper-lip growth in a creative masterpiece on the level of Michael Ginsberg’s moustache.

Justin Fontaine — The Captain’s duster had a Burt Cooper-esqu tranquility and dignity last year. Thus far, he’s showing the best things in life really are free, ditching the razor completely and letting his facial hair grow free and easy.

Marco Scandella — The blueliner is in his hometown this week, so he’s celebrating. If Scandella’s beard were an ad, it would be Draper’s Carousel pitch. There’s a deeper bond between his chin and hair: delicate, but potent.

Donnie Brasco Division

The division for the wise guys who won’t get fooled by fugazi facial hair.

Matt Dumba — Young, hungry and ready to do whatever the bosses want, Dumba’s Mo is much improved from last season. The blueliner looks to build a strong case for the top ‘stache, but he’ll have to take down some of his Wild Mo Bros, who have become family to him.

Ryan Carter —This newcomer started the month fresh faced and there’s nothing undercover about his soup strainer in the opening week. With Carter’s muzzy, he looks like he could gain the trust of the bosses and become a made man. Forget about it!

Zach Galifianakis Division

Division for the funny, fuzzy bros of Movember.

Jason Zucker — Either the speedy forward’s facial hairs grows faster than he skates on the ice or he started Movember a little early. Regardless, anything that brings MOre people to the MOvement the better. Maybe the wing has higher aspirations taking no shave November into no shave season. His face looks like it’s between two ferns.

Kyle Brodziak — A Mo Bro O.G. and wolf pack for life, Brodziak always brings a strong facial-hair game and starts the month clean-shaven. He’s been a little too busy to carve a fine cookie duster this week—his wife gave birth to their second son—so he’s going full-on growth a la Alan from the Hangover with his new baby on board. Fortunately for baby Leo, Brodziak didn’t name him Carlos.

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