Power Rankings: Fish Are Friends

Earlier this week, a brand new addition to the Shark Tank was built and unveiled: an actual shark tank (plus other fish). Located in the new BMW Lounge, it hosts around 104 fish.
While fish are certainly friends and not food, not all fish are created equal. So here are the big fish in the tank, as ranked by sjsharks.com.

6. Harlequin Tusk

This Nemo imposter gets points for being reminiscent of one of the great movie characters, but points are deducted for not being an actual clown fish. C'mon, which fish is going to tell the joke about the mollusk?
5. Clown Tang

The Clown Tang looks like it would fit in perfect at Cal (add or subtract points based on college allegiances). However, while "clown" is in its name, there are still doubts about its ability to land the punchline, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"
4. Imperator Angelfish

In Roman history, "Imperator" is a title that is synonymous with "commander." And look at this fish's face. It looks like it can lead all the other fish into battle.
3. Lookdown

"Hey buddy, why the long face?" - a joke that this fish has never heard before.
2. Orange Shoulder Tang

"What should we name this fish?"
"I dunno, but it seems to have a weird orange shoulder."
"Perfect."
1. Epaulette Shark

It's a shark.