My Story: Proud to be an Ally

I'm aware of my on-ice persona.
I'm a bigger guy, I'm covered in scars, I have no teeth and I like to fight, but that's only part of my identity and just part of our identity as hockey players collectively.
But to me, true masculinity and true toughness comes when you're willing to put yourself out there in the name of acceptance and equality.
To me, that's toughness.

Growing up in Ottawa, Ontario, I was aware of the city's Pride Parade from a pretty young age, but I don't think I ever really understood it when I was younger. As I've gotten older and started to create and develop and hold my own values and ideals, however, I've learned a lot about the LGBTQ+ community.
Over time, as I've become a husband and a father, we've tried to think of what these values and ideals are that we want to pass down to our children.
Inclusivity, equality and acceptance are big ones for us.
Being an ally to the LGBTQ+ community became something important to me after my wife, Tara, first came into my life. As my then girlfriend, and then my fiancé and my wife, I've been able to not only get but give so much.
This whole idea of being in a loving relationship has been so fulfilling for me. Tara is my person - the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. She's helped me through so many difficult, tough times, and I don't know where I would be without her support. I'm so thankful to have her by my side, and I can't imagine what I would do without her.
Our relationship has made me think, too. Why should we deny anyone the opportunity to find a loving relationship and be proud to be who they are in a loving relationship because of their sexual orientation?
That just doesn't make sense to me. Why would we want to deny someone that chance at love?
Tara and I have marched in Ottawa Pride Parades before when I was with the Senators, and I'll always remember walking through the streets and the faces I saw in the crowd. A lot of them were young families with young kids, and I couldn't help but think what an awesome way for these parents to start teaching their children about different people and different lifestyles and how everyone is equal and everyone deserves the same respect. That just really stuck with me.
The NHL's Hockey Is Everyone initiative, it's a catchy tagline that we pay lip service to, but to me, it's pretty black and white - if you're going to say Hockey Is For Everyone, then it truly has to be for everyone.
Hockey has this sort of inherent masculinity about it. As players, we all take a lot of pride in being these tough guys, and for some reason, some people think you can't be this masculine, tough dude and be accepting of people who are gay, lesbian or bisexual. That doesn't make sense to me. To me, your masculinity and your pride of being a tough hockey player, that isn't connected to how accepting you can or should be of others.
As a sport, I do think we've grown a lot in the past little bit. When I was younger and coming up through junior hockey, it was definitely different, and I don't think people were aware or as accepting or willing to kind of think about inclusion and equality and pride, but we've come a long way. There are lot of guys in today's game who are a lot more vocal, a lot of guys who kind of hold these same ideals and beliefs that I do. That's a good thing, and the more vocal we are together, the more we're going to help change for the better.
As I've gotten older, I've realized that my masculinity, my toughness and this persona I have, what's more important to me are these ideals and beliefs and values that I hold.
Members of the LGBTQ+ communities, their rights are human rights. They're human beings. We're all humans, and we all deserve the same rights and the same respect.
Being in a loving relationship and being a parent has changed me a lot. I can't even stand thinking about denying someone the opportunity to be in a loving relationship, and denying them that because of their sexual orientation? To me, that's just a nonstarter.
Having a child, I don't care what my son's sexual orientation is. I don't care whether my kids are straight or gay. They're still my children, and I'm still going to love them. That just makes me think about all these other people who are lesbian or gay or bisexual - they're someone's kids, too, and they deserve that same love and respect.
For me, it's just that simple.
In the years ahead, I just hope that more and more guys in our League and around the game are willing to speak up for this community. The more players who are vocal about these causes that they believe in strongly, the better.
There's strength in numbers for athletes speaking their minds and being active and engaged socially, so hopefully more and more guys can find a way to speak up - and I'm proud to be one of them.
Happy Pride, everyone.