The eyes looked lost, then wistful. He saw it there in front of him, a chance, a hope, a wish that was close enough that he let himself sink into it, fully and completely. It had taken him nearly 40 minutes to emerge from the hidden places of SAP Center, to stand in an empty room and voice the emotions that overwhelmed him.
He held it together for the first two questions, through talk of the end of this season, through talk of his long and frustrating tenure in St. Louis, on a team that had disappointed him and its fans nearly since he arrived in town as a rookie a decade ago.
Then he broke.
"He'll kill me for telling you this story, but …" He took a breath. "Game 5, I'm not feeling well and Steve Ott brings me …" His voice thickened. "Something to help me feel better…"
The tears welled.
"Knowing that he's the guy coming out of the lineup if I can play, that's pretty selfless, and that's the kind of guys we have in here."
A tear rolled out of his left eye, down his check, along the side of his nose.
"Just stories like that," he said.
They had gotten closer than they had in 15 years, the last time the Blues made the conference final, the last time the Stanley Cup was this real. But it ended, again, without a title, without a celebration, six wins short.
There is only so long that a hockey player gets, only so many chances. Some are spoiled. Some, like those in St. Louis during the past 10 years, over the early exits and frustration and broken sticks and broken bones and losses before they were ready, are not. Backes has not been.