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The Royal Half Preview: 1/24 LA vs EDM

by The Royal Half / Los Angeles Kings
Disclaimer - The contents of this page have not been reviewed or endorsed by the Los Angeles Kings Hockey Club. All opinions expressed by The Royal Half are solely (and most likely) his own and do not reflect the opinions of the Los Angeles Kings or their Hockey Operations staff, parent company, partners, or sponsors. His current whereabouts are not known to the Kings and he has no access to information beyond the access and privileges that go along with being a half-season ticket holder.

Game #3


0 pts
15th in Western Conference
2 pts
10th in Western Conference

6:30pm, Rexall Place
Edmonton, AB



JeanShorts & BaggedMilk
opper and Blue
Oilers Nation

I wish there was someway to graphically represent what the Edmonton Oilers storyline is for the 2013 NHL Season.

Oh, right.

So the Edmonton Oilers have a lot of #1 Draft Picks, huh? Well, you know what else the Edmonton Oilers used to have???

A couple more Cups and could you imagine what the
LA Kings Marketing Department could do with the 405?!?

Sure, Edmonton might have held a tight grip on Lord Stanley over 22 years ago... but the Cup is the Los Angeles Kings' now! Over the next few weeks, Fox Sports West is airing "Lord Stanley's Summer" where we get to see some of our favorite LA Kings spend a day with the Stanley Cup. 

If this doesn't make the show, then I'm not watching.

As a sneak preview during Thursday's telecast of the LA Kings 3-1 loss to the Colorado Avalanche we got to spend the day with Justin Williams and Slava Voynov as they had their time in the sun with the Stanley Cup. First stop for Cobourg, Ontario native Justin Williams... Ventnor, New Jersey?!?

Ironically, those cities on the right are also the teams Jon Sim has played for.

In an effort to cut costs, Fox Sports West tried to simultaneously shoot
Justin Williams' day with the cup AND a pilot for its ill-fated reality series... SuperCupNanny.

Ah, the innocent joy of eating breakfast cereal out of...

...the same place Ed Olczyk fed his horse.

While taking a boat trip around the Jersey Shore, Justin Williams' brother-in-law decided to make the most romantic gesture you ever could...

Proposing to his girlfriend as beer swayed from side to side inside the Cup bowl.

Hey, Justin Williams is a regular guy, just like you.
He puts his jock strap over his goalie pads one leg at a time...
right before he's about to play a street hockey game with the Stanley Cup in attendance.

Old Time Street Hockey.

Justin Williams does his best "early 2013 season" Jon Quick impression.

Worst. Episode of Jersey Shore. Ever

Justin Williams Dad is infinitely cooler than ANY of the other dads on the LA Kings.
And I can vouch that his mom is really cool too in person!

Enough with trying to do a shot by shot recreation of Clerks, Justin! Let's party!

Hmm... I mean, yeah... this is kind of a party.
But it's just missing one thing that would really kick it up a notch or two.

Now, that's a party!

And finally, since Fox Sports West is always trying to bring in the female viewership...

This was by far the best season of The Bachelor.
I really think these two are going to find true and everlasting love.

Meanwhile... halfway across the world in Chelyabinsk, Russia... this happened:

This actually isn't Slava Voynov's "Day with the Cup" segment...
it's his online dating video.

Slava was excited to bring the Stanley Cup home to Russia so that all the LA Kings fans in his small town could see it in person.

And by "all the LA Kings fans" I mean "the 3 guys who love the Pittsburgh Penguins."

This isn't the line to see the Stanley Cup... it's the line for bread.

To be fair... it wasn't the team at Fox Sports West that edited together the Slava Voynov segment. No, it was KingsVision that decided to pay the ultimate tribute to Slava Voynov...

By executing a 80s Soviet Era "snake wipe" transition.

Finally, Slava Voynov took the Stanley Cup to the one place it may never, ever go.

David Booth's house!

I don't know about you guys...
but I don't trust the dude over Slava's shoulder with the microphone.

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier and Jonathan Quick. If you like the hockey equivalent of dirty jokes or enjoy humorous screen-grabs of NHL players and broadcasters with funny captions... man, you are going to like The Royal Half. You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter at @TheRoyalHalf

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