Looking for short, timely messages from Zenon Konopka
At approximately 5:00 p.m. yesterday, an anonymous fan created a fake twitter account for the gregarious Islanders forward.
His first few (fake) tweets:
The account was brought to Zenon’s attention today and, while he predictably didn’t mind the existence of a fake account, it successfully got his wheels spinning about the possibility of creating a real one.
Before practice, Zenon asked members of the Isles PR department if they’d make him an official account. We instinctively didn’t respond, and then proceeded to pray that he would forget about it by the end of practice.
No such luck.
After the skate, as he barreled down the player tunnel towards the locker room, Konopka started reciting the stream-of-consciousness-style play-by-play of his life that he imagined for his soon-to-be twitter feed.
“Tweet one – I have a great slap shot. Tweet two – Maybe I should be on the power play.”
He looked up at equipment manager Richard “Shakey” Krouse.
“Tweet three – Shakey’s a great guy.”
Roomate and partner in crime PA Parenteau
saw the looks my colleague’s faces as their hearts dropped.
“He’s probably the last person on earth you want to give a twitter account to,” said Parenteau.