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Fort Nucks: #Gradient

...travel day from New York to Detroit, a perfect time to try a new app

by Derek Jory @NoJoryous / Vancouver Canucks

There's this new app - there's always a new app, I know. But hear me out.

There's this new app called Gradient. It's a portrait and selfie photo editor, "powered by the most advanced artificial intelligence and beautification technologies which will help you tune your photos to perfection in mere seconds," according to the app description. Sometimes these gruff Vancouver Canucks could use a beautification or two before their photos hit the Internet, so a three-day trial period was selected and Gradient was downloaded.

What I hadn't realized is Gradient is the app used to find your "twin," as in you upload a photo and it finds what famous person you look like. Monday was a travel day from New York to Detroit, what better time to load up some Canucks headshots and find some celebrity matches.

I apologize in advance.

Troy Stecher as a young Tom Cruise? We'll accept that.

Adam Gaudette = Bradley Cooper. A Star is Born.

Quinn Hughes as Daniel Radcliffe, twice. You're a wizard Quinn!

Ashton Sautner as Kit Harington? You know nothing Gradient app.

Bo Horvat as Cap. Makes sense. But he's not alone as Chris Evans...

 

Jay Beagle works out like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and he's also a dead ringer for a young Arnie.

Oscar Fantenberg isn't on this road trip, but he is one of the biggest movie stars on the planet!

Elias Pettersson is somehow not Macaulay Culkin. Instead George Clooney? Interesting. Even more intesting: Petey and Clooney look like Pavel Bure when fused together. Second photo from the right. Tell me I'm wrong.

Thatcher Demko is bringing sexy back as Justin Timberlake.

Tyler Motte is Gerard Butler. This might be the best one.

Jake Virtanen is a long lost Jonas brother; he's a Nick Jonas away from being every Jonas brother!

Tanner Pearson as the God of Thunder. Ok.

Tim Schaller as Ryan Reynolds. Hmmmmm…Deadpool might not agree.

J.T. Miller is also Chris Evans. Move over Bo.

Josh Leivo. Ryan Gosling. Yep? Nope? Unsure. They're both Nice Guys.

Micheal Ferland is also also Chris Evans. Move over over Bo. Why is everyone Chris Evans?

Chris Tanev better be Keanu Reeves. I repeat: Chris Tanev better be Keanu Reeves. Tanev literally is John Wick. Had he been dressed in an all black suit and rode a horse to the game in New York Sunday, onlookers might have thought they were shooting the fourth installment. But nooooo. Taney gets Tom Hardy. Whatever.

Alex Edler is also Tom Hardy, but a grittier version than Tanev got. Does this mean Tanev and Edler look a like?

Jacob Markstrom is also also also Chris Evans. What gives?!

Brock Boeser …please get Prince Charming, please get Prince Charming, please get Prince Charming. Ugh. Matt Damon.

Jordie Benn as Leo Messi? Messi beard maybe, but that's it.

Tyler Myers and Dave Franco. This is legit.

Loui Eriksson and Clive Owen. So, so serious.

And last but certainly not least, Brandon Sutter. AS CHRIS EVANS?!?!?!?????

In conclusion, Gradient must need an upgrade. Chris Evans everywhere. There's just one last photo to try before I cancel my subscription.

Oh my my my. Finally, my doppelganger has been found! Good luck ever unseeing that.

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