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From the Rafters (12.22.14)

by Wyatt Arndt / Vancouver Canucks
The Canucks took on the Coyotes in the last game before Christmas and it should have been a tightly contested game! It was not. Read on to find out about the rules of dancing at Rogers Arena, a whole bunch of Canucks goals, and the best Shane Doan jersey you’ll ever see.

- It’s always important to load up on carbs for hockey games. You need fuel to burn off when you’re screaming at the refs for trying to ruin the game.

- Welcome back! You’ve missed basically all the 1994 Canucks taking over Rogers Arena. Jyrki Lumme is as slick at up-selling Canucks merch as he was patrolling the blue line. Rumors are also circulating that Trevor Linden is installing an iron throne, but that hasn’t been confirmed yet. #GameOfNucks

- The best part of this tweet is Henrik and Burrows looking over accusingly as if wondering why their picture was being taken during the intro.

FIRST PERIOD

- It’s been medically proven that the Canucks winning leads to better health. Unless it’s the playoffs. Then people usually come down with the “hockey flu” and seem to miss an awful lot of work...

In case you were wondering, the ladies cheered louder than the men tonight during Johnny Canuck’s challenge. Luckily they rebounded and won the “best beard” contest later in the night.

- Out of the penalty box of shame, and into scoring a goal of pain! (just go with it.) Don’t let people fool you, scoring dirty greasy goals are awesome because it not only makes the other team kind of hate themselves, but you can also embellish those goals down the road when you tell the grandkids about them. “You have to understand, back in my day we played with our sticks on fire, which made shooting the puck quite tricky.”

- You have to forgive Vancouver fans, scoring goals has been a problem lately, so it was a bit confusing to see three goals in one period.

- See, really really confusing.

- Best new movie title. It stars a beleaguered goalie whose days of being the top dancing goalie are coming to an end. Channing Tatum will of course play the role of Shane Doan, his best friend who also dances, except he wears a hat.

Not to blame it all on Mike Smith, it’s just his rebound control was like he was Santa and the pucks were free gifts for all of the children of the world.

SECOND PERIOD

- Full credit to the Green Men, who usually pester opposing players in the box, but something about this simple, straight to the heart of the matter sign makes it the top penalty box insult of the year. Well played Canuck fan, well played.

- OK, four goals in just over a period? You’re spoiling us Vancouver. Raffi is at a loss for words, and he makes songs for a living. He once sang a song about a banana phone, and even he is can’t find the words for this offensive outburst.

- A few more goals and Smith would have looked like Clark Griswold’s house at Christmas, but alas, the Coyotes pulled him after the fourth goal and Dubnyk took his place. Dubnyk proceeded to make one save, thus already ensuring him of having a better night than Mike Smith.

- That’s a super super specific jersey.

- Fans were cheering, men were crying, ladies were flying. It was a grand old time in Rogers Arena. The only thing missing? Fin using the wave as a distraction so he could try and eat Santa.

- Tom Sestito was in the lineup due to Hansen being a late scratch. He made an impact by drawing a penalty, getting into a fight, and yes, having Fake Haggar being impressed with his haircut.

- The game officially hit “Oprah Mode” when the Canucks got their fifth goal of the game where the puck basically found it’s way into the net on its own, because who are you to tell a puck what it can and cannot do?

THIRD PERIOD

- Rudolph has never seemed so hardcore. The new Canucks DJ crew continues to bring a wide variety of music to Rogers Arena this year.

- Seriously, it’s a new era of music in Rogers Arena, and it’s awesome.

- At one point the game was seven to one. Anything and everything was going into the net. The Coyotes were about as mentally broken as you can get by that point.

- Amazingly this is one of the few pictures from this game when a goal WASN’T being scored.

- Even Jets fans were tuning in to see what the heck was going on.

- Blowout win? Time for selfies. Kudos for the “bad guy camera tilt” circa Adam West’s Batman.

- The game ended with a bit of the rough stuff, as Sestito had a little “chat” with Martin Hanzal about all those cross checks he likes to throw against the Canucks. Hanzal, apparently, dislikes his own medicine. Final score, 7-1 for the good guys.

POST GAME

- Sometimes you feel the dance. Sometimes the dance feels you. The play of the night from the stands goes to this woman for letting the spirit of the dance totally consume her. Until buddy pops up and tries to take her hard earned camera time. Drinking beer is not a dance good sir!

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