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From the Rafters (11.25.14)

by Wyatt Arndt / Vancouver Canucks
The Canucks took on a familiar foe in Cory Schneider and the New Jersey Devils. Read on to find out about all the great Pat Quinn tributes, as well as a goal or two.

- If you get out to a game this year, make sure to check out section 121. Currently it is set up in honor of Pat Quinn, one of the greatest Canucks of all time. The man truly was a hockey legend.

- In some awesome behind the scenes footage, the Canucks caught Willie Desjardins scaring the begeezus out of Bo Horvat. Coach D asked Bo if he was going to be the good Bo Horvat or the Bad Bo Horvat (we can safely assume Bad Bo Horvat has a goatee.)

Bo said he was going to be the good Bo Horvat, and was then promptly told he was not going to be sent back to junior. Then several Canucks shook Bo’s hand, except Dorsett, as he chose to fist bump him instead. That Dorsett, always playing by his own rules. HE’S A REBEL!

- This fella seems like he uses the same tattoo artist as Brad Marchand.

- The Canucks stated they would honor the memory of Pat Quinn by wearing a PQ sticker on their helmets for the rest of the year.

- It’s always great to see two #17s being able to put aside their differences and enjoy a hockey game together.

Balancing the food WHILE taking the selfie? Well done good sir.

FIRST PERIOD

- If we’re going to yell like it’s 1994, we better crank up a TLC song, put on our slap bracelets, and talk about how we’re not quite sure if Blossom is a good TV show or not.

- That seems a tad preposterous.

- Nope, wait, you’re right. Who plays Santa though? Who plays Rudolph??

- The Canucks had all the momentum to start the game, as they peppered former Canuck Cory Schneider with shot after shot.

- That’s the kind of look you make when either an empty net was missed, or the poutine ran out.

- Ah, the old days when players would drink a six pack to re-hydrate between periods. Safe to say, athletes are in a tad better shape these days.

- Jaromir Jagr cannot be human. He’s 42 years old yet he can still make seasoned NHL veterans look like rookies. It’s like Space Jam, except instead of Bugs Bunny it’s Fin watching in horror as Jagr plays like he’s 20.

- The period ended in a tie, with neither team scoring, but it wasn’t for a lack of trying. Bieksa tried so hard he even fired a slapper at the head of Cory Schneider. The Canucks wanted blood!

SECOND PERIOD

- Remember when Torts thought Burrows should be bought out? He said a lot of crazy things that year. Good times.

- What’s the rule again? Bad nicknames and bad puns always get you into From the Rafters. Well done!

- YOU MUST WATCH ALL OF THE CANUCKS GAMES. You are the one they’ve spoken of.... #ChildOfDestiny #HarryPotterofHockey

- Well let’s not limit ourselves here, we can ask for more than one goal. Five? Five goals? Can we do that?

- Derek Dorsett had a spirited scrap Seth Helgeson, but the best part was the guy throwing his popcorn in excitement for no apparent reason. It’s probably safe to assume that instead of throwing rice at weddings this guy throws popcorn. Guy gets a raise? Throwing popcorn.

The Sedins had one of those powerplay shifts where they do everything but score. They control the puck, they get scoring chances galore, they crush the souls of the opponents, making them question if they even belong in the NHL anymore, yet just fall short of getting a goal.

- It really is very pretty, to be fair.

- The only penalty called less is the “Sideburns Too Long” penalty that hasn’t been used since the late ‘70s.

- Does he offer this service?? Watching his team score goals obviously isn’t taking up much of his time.

- It’s best not to think of this. Or his potential career earnings. Just play some NHL 15 and forget you ever thought about this.

- Matthias does indeed look like a hipster Bertuzzi, he just needs some skinny jean version of Cooperalls. He also has been playing great the last several weeks, as well as growing a slick mustache. All hail the Matthias.

- The Canucks were out-shooting the Devils 26 to 12 through two periods, and were basically dominating the game. All they needed were some goals...

- This is Pavel. He moved to Vancouver from the Czech Republic and is both a Canucks fan and a Jaromir Jagr fan, so he gets the best of both worlds tonight.

He also takes the worlds creepiest selfies at Canucks games. Seriously, he looks like a Batman villain hiding in the crowd, plotting an evil plan to over throw the Prime Minister of Canada and replace him with Jagr.

- This just in: Bo Horvat is pretty good at faceoffs. What’s his secret? Whispering insults to his opponent? Gently blowing in their ears? Not showering for months? We may never know.

- A Flyers fan is hiding in the audience?? GET EM! Though kudos on the sweet pic of Bo Horvat.

THIRD PERIOD

- Are you allowed to sneak a Flames fan into a game where they aren’t playing? What’s the ruling here?

- Losing another proud BC boy to Alberta. At least he’s doing the right thing and camouflaging his Canucks love so he doesn’t get into any trouble by angry Flames fans. Once Oilers fans exist again, we fan use them as an example too.

- Ryan Miller didn’t have to make many saves this game, but he when he did, he even impressed the Devils fans. Though to be fair, they could have just been excited about seeing a shot.

- See? Shawn “Hispter Bertuzzi” Matthias is making things happen on the ice. Look at him chase down that breakaway and put the final nail in Cory Schneider’s coffin. All hail Matthias. Kassian would have stood up in the penalty box and clapped for that goal.

- It’s hard to see the lemonade with those glorious moustaches in the way.

- Super weird angle guys, not gonna lie.

- During one series of events, Luca Sbisa crushes Jagr with a hit, then Jagr gets super angry and cross checks Burrows, then Burrows slashes Jagr, then Cammalleri trips Burrows. It’s like the “Butterfly Effect” except it’s the “Sbisa Effect”.

- It really was a big hit.

- Legend Killer Sbisa! Watch out Sergei Gonchar, you’re next.

- Millllllllllll? Miluuuuuuuuuu? Ryuuuuuuuu? We need to work on this.

- Finally the wave gets the credit it deserves. It’s no coincidence that after the wave, Sbisa’s attempted murder on Jagr and the Matthias’ goal happened.

- The Canucks won in almost clinical fashion 2-0. It was pretty low event hockey (hence the almost total lack of game context in this write up) until the last six minutes of the game. The Canucks are making everything look easy these days.

POST GAME

For those who missed the game, make sure to check out the amazing tribute the Canucks had for Pat Quinn before the drop of the puck.

- Best way to recycle a Kesler jersey goes to...

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