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From the Rafters (1.27.15)

by Wyatt Arndt / Vancouver Canucks
The Canucks took on the hottest team in the NHL, the Anaheim Ducks, Tuesday night. Read on for all of the former Canucks surprise cameos, and maybe some free popcorn.

- Ryan Kesler can breathe a sigh of relief, as the Canucks were wearing camouflage jerseys during their warm-up as part of their annual Canadian Armed Forces Night. The only thing hunting Ryan Kesler were the boo-birds. Vicious, unrelenting, unforgiving boo-birds. Welcome back Ryan! We’ve missed you!

- “Hate” is a strong word. What’s the opposite of love? Oh it’s hate? Ok, never mind, you’re right.

- How do you start off Canadian Armed Forces Night at Rogers Arena? By rappelling in from the roof, of course!

FIRST PERIOD

- Kassian looks terrifying there! He looks like the human race invented him and sent him back to the past with one mission: Stop Ryan Kesler....and mow the lawn. Because let’s face it, if you invent a cyborg Kassian robot, who wouldn’t use him for a few chores around the house before saving humanity?

- “Tripping” is firmly in quotation marks. “Falling down due to a stiff breeze” is more accurate. Great seats however! Don’t breathe too hard, though, it might cause another Duck to fall over.

- The shot from Beleskey seemed to somehow go straight through Ryan Miller’s glove so the obvious question was who cut the hole in the glove? Ryan Kesler was the resounding answer from Twitter.

- Many members of the Canadian Armed Forces were in attendance tonight, making it the worst night possible for any neighboring Provinces planning on invading Rogers Arena.

- If you have not had a chance to see Shawn Matthias penalty kill in person, you are missing out. He literally grows six inches and gains Popeye like muscles and becomes a beast. Yes, literally, not figuratively. It’s super weird, but also awesome.

- Sky Cam sounds real close to Sky Net. So, you know, maybe that “Kassian is a terminator sent from the future” thing isn’t so crazy...

SECOND PERIOD

- Kesler made contact with Dorsett’s head on a hit, causing Dorsett to leave the game. Shockingly, shockingly, this made the Canucks fans boo Ryan Kesler even more. He will be booed in Rogers Arena the rest of his life. Even during future alumni games when he’s receiving passes from Cliff Ronning, there will be boos.

- Jannik Hansen shoved Ducks goalie Andersen to the ground at one point, just because.

- It’s true. Check Walmart. No results turn up when you search for goals. Only posts. Hideous posts.

- That is some mighty fine positive thinking good sir. Do we....can we....are we allowed to minus goals like that? For reals?

- Archibald made a man spin in the air, doing a complete 360. This seems like a solid plan, especially if Darren can be convinced to go for the 720.

THIRD PERIOD

- But somebody threw a Ducks jersey on one of the men in your life by accident. You should burn it.

- A mysterious man, standing in the shadows, wearing a fedora? That can’t be good.

- The one bright side to shots horribly missing the net is it can create a night a kid will never forget!

- The Ducks made it 3-0 in the third at which point the Duck puns became the main source of entertainment for several minutes.

- Brendan Morrison was in attendance at the game, reminding people of a time when the West Coast Express would score a lot of goals set to the tune of the “Ole” song. Full credit to B-Mo for embracing his inner Canadian by wearing plaid to a hockey game.

- When your team is down 3-0 late in the game, you might as well attempt to jinx the shutout. There is always a small moral victory for ruining a shutout.

- The dogs thought this game was.... ruff.

- It’s not a jersey foul since it’s a hoodie, and hoodie fouls aren’t a thing yet, so he gets a pass. We’ll have to check with the committee on clothing fouls to confirm though. It’s safe to assume John Garrett runs this committee, along with the “what food does cheese go on?” committee (spoiler alert: the answer is ‘everything’).

- After the game the Armed Forces all gathered together to get their picture taken on Rogers Arena ice, making it the most dangerous offense seen in Vancouver since Pavel Bure and Alex Mogilny had a two on one back in ‘96.

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