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Abducted by Aliens – P.K. Subban

by Staff Writer / Montréal Canadiens

It’s no secret P.K. Subban possesses otherworldly-level talents, so we like to imagine his sweet dangles and spin-o-ramas have made headlines even in foreign galaxies. We told the 24-year-old Norris Trophy-winner that in 24 hours, aliens were plotting to snatch him away to help them gain an edge in their future faceoffs against evil. We assume Subban believed us, because he answered our questions about his final day on planet Earth.

The last book you’d read:
You wouldn’t have time to read a book, so that would be the last thing I’d be thinking about. But, if I had to read one thing, I’d probably read a passage from the Bible.

The last movie you’d watch:
I’d probably just take it with me and watch it in whatever spaceship I’m going to whatever planet I’m going to. I’d probably bring Wedding Crashers, Anchorman, The Usual Suspects and Rush Hour. If I had to pick just one, I’d say the first Rush Hour for sure. I think Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan are the best couple of actors to do a movie. They just really complement each other well.

One destination you’d wish you had visited:
The Great Wall of China. It’s a long way away, and it’s unique. I think Asia is so advanced in its technology and its way of living. I would definitely like to go over there and pick up a few things to help better myself and how I live and how I eat. I think you can really learn a different lifestyle out there.

The last meal you’d like to eat:
I’d probably eat my mom’s chocolate chip pancakes. Get those in you for sure!

The last song you’d like to hear:
“The Final Countdown” by Europe. Just go with the flow. You know they’re shutting it down.

The thing you’d be happiest to never do again:
Clean my room.

The author you’d commission to write your biography:
I’d have to pick Tim Grover because I like the book he just wrote about Kobe Bryant and Dwayne Wade and Michael Jordan [Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable]. I thought it was pretty cool.

The one thing you’d take with you:
If I could take one thing with me, I’d take Beyonce.

The gift you’d offer up to your abductors:
I’d probably offer them Beyonce.

The alien translator you’d use to communicate with your abductors:
I think it would be Donald Trump because I figure he would know some way to communicate with them. The guy is one of the richest people in the world and he seems to be well-connected.

Words of wisdom you’d leave behind for future generations:
“Get out while you can!”

Good luck, P.K.!

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