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Ask a Tough Guy: Good grades, hometown allegiances and kittens

by Brandon Bollig / Chicago Blackhawks
"Gulliver's Travels II," or Brandon Bollig squaring off against a legion of miniature Kaners?

The following feature appeared in the February 2013 issue of Blackhawks Magazine. Pick up the newest issue of the magazine at the next Blackhawks home game, starting Tuesday, Feb. 12 vs. Anaheim, or by calling the Blackhawks Store at (800) GO-HAWKS.

Brandon Bollig might be quick to throw up his dukes to solve problems on the ice, but away from the rink he's a mountain of knowlege, dishing out two-fisted brilliance. Fans submitted their most pressing questions for Bollig via the website, and he weighed in with his advice.

To submit your question for our next "Ask a Tough Guy" feature, click here.

If you could have a weekly poker night with five other athletes or celebrities, who would fill your table?
--Jim Adlesick, Riverside, Ill

Vince Vaughn for the laughs. Somebody like Tommy Lee or Slash because rock stars are awesome. Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Alba for the eye candy. And either Bryan Bickell or Andrew Shaw for the easy money.

I have a coworker that never showers. He smells like a dirty hamster cage, and I need a diplomatic way to tell him he stinks. Can you suggest something?
--Pike Hunter, Minot, N.D.

Say, "Hey man, do you smell that?" He'll probably reply with "No." Then go with, "Well, I do. Here's a stick of Old Spice. Don't be afraid to hit the showers, then use it. Thanks. See you Monday."

Hi Brandon, my 8-year-old son, Christian, can't stand doing schoolwork. What can I do to make him fight for the good grades I know he can achieve?
--Marissa Benavidez, South Holland, Ill.

To be honest, I was always a kid that did his homework and didn't skip school, and it seems to have worked out well so far. Tell him he'll never get to play for the Blackhawks if he doesn't get good grades. Hopefully that does the trick.

Kittens! Kittens! Kittens!
Where did you get your nightingale singing voice ?
--Dale Bollig, Wright City, Mo.

Haha, sure as heck not from my father. His voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard. I guess you could say I'm a natural.

Off the ice, which is better: bunnies or kittens?
--Alannah, Plainfield, Ill.

You're really putting my "tough guy" persona at risk here by asking this question, so don't tell anyone... But kittens, for sure.

Brandon, I am a Chicago-raised, die-hard Blackhawks fan living in the St. Louis suburbs. Life is not always easy for a Hawks fan in St. Louis. Do you find it difficult being a Blackhawk considering you grew up in St. Louis? Do your childhood friends and family give you a hard time?
--Big Pete, Belleville, Ill.

Well, I obviously grew up a big Blues fan, so once I signed with Chicago I did get a lot of crap from family and friends. It was all in good fun, though. But I have been known to rock a St. Louis Cardinals hat quite often in Chicago. Maybe it's a good thing I'm kind of tough, because the Cards aren't too welcome around these parts. But you've gotta let your flags fly.

Would you rather fight one Patrick Kane-sized duck, or 100 duck-sized Patrick Kanes?
--Christopher Atom, Chicago

100 duck-sized Patrick Kanes, for sure. I'm not sure he could fight his way out of a wet paper bag, so I think I'd be OK. Plus, his hands are too dang good to be messing them up by fighting.
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